


The "R" Problem

by why_didnt_i_get_any_soup



Series: Raisin [2]
Category: New Girl
Genre: (for Jess and Robby), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s06e14 The Hike, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Incest, Infidelity, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 07:33:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9538043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_didnt_i_get_any_soup/pseuds/why_didnt_i_get_any_soup
Summary: Jess may not have considered all the consequences of jumping head first into a relationship with Nick and Reagan.





	

“Robby!” Jess shouted, bolting straight up in her bed.

 

She was nestled between Reagan and Nick and they were both thoroughly asleep.

 

“Guys,” she said, turning to both of them and shaking them, “wake up, guys. We’ve got a problem.”

 

…

 

“I don't know. I just _completely_ forgot. We’re so much alike, I guess I forget that we’re _actually_ separate people. And we’re supposed to go hiking tomorrow and I honestly still want to go.” Jess explained at the kitchen table.

 

“You have to tell him,” Reagan said before lifting her coffee mug up to her lips.

 

Jess followed the movement with her eyes and remembered some of what had happened the previous night. She knew herself and, as much as she didn't want to tell Robby the lurid details, she knew her nervousness would inevitably cause her to blurt it out when she saw him.

 

“I'm gonna wind up telling him the naughty bits.”

 

“Jess!” Nick gave her The Look and Reagan just laughed. “Don't tell him what we did last night.”

 

“Nick, you know me. I'm gonna. Plus, you have no room to talk! You are the worst liar on the _planet!_ ”

 

“I lied to Reagan about having that extra shift at the bar!” He blurted and his eyes went wide.

 

That particular secret hadn't come out yet, but there it was.

 

“Oh no.” Jess immediately stood up with her coffee mug, “this is between you two. I'm going to my room. And I'm locking it so don't think about trying to bring this in there!”

 

When she sat on her bed it felt a little damp. “I need to change my sheets.” She said out loud, to herself.

 

…

 

Plans to go hiking with Robby went uninterrupted, even when Winston tried to implore her to come to the surprise party he was throwing for Allie. Reagan had fled to her not-so-secret secret apartment and Nick had run off after her to explain himself about the not-real shift at the bar. Jess felt bad leaving them to work it out but it really wasn't her fight, regardless of her part in their relationship. She had her own stuff to worry about with Robby.

 

And then they went off on the hike, leaving civilization behind. Usually, Jess enjoyed the outdoors but she was too nervous then to enjoy it, thinking too much about how she was going to break up with him, hoping he wouldn't be too mad. He was a good guy.

 

However, she promptly forgot about new relationships and cheating and breakups when they got lost and she twisted her ankle and it started to pour down rain. But nothing in all of her life could have prepared her for the realization that she had been dating her cousin. A third cousin, but a cousin nonetheless. And the more they talked about it, the worse it got, seeming like the rain was coming down even harder and the temperature was dropping exponentially.

 

“I've got to get out of here!” She finally caved, unable to stand the cold, wet, and hunger.

 

“You can't walk, I can't see anything!” Robby gesticulated toward her wildly, panicked, without his glasses.

 

“Stand up, blind boy! I'm getting on your back!” Jess was determined.

 

…

 

Jess’ clothes were dirty and sticking to her uncomfortably by the time they pulled the car up to Schmidt and Cece’s new house. The car ride had been, rightfully so, silent. They had tried to put on some music but none of it really seemed right, so they went for nothing instead.

 

“So, just to be clear, um, we’re definitely broken up, right?” Robby asked.

 

They both agreed that they _obviously_ were and they hugged before Jess got out of the car. She leaned down to talk through the window, initially just wanting to say something like “see you around, kid.” Instead, she blurted what she was supposed to have told him the whole time.

 

“ _I had sex with Nick and Reagan last night!_ I'm so sorry; I meant to tell you sooner...Please don't be mad.”

 

Robby looked stunned for a few seconds, completely silent. Jess waited for the shoe to drop, but it didn't.

 

“It's okay, Jess.” He assured, instead.

 

She was surprised to hear him say that.

 

“Wait, really?”

 

“I mean, cheating definitely _isn't_ okay and you need to communicate that to future partners but yeah, I'm really fine with an open relationship. I did kind of figure there was something there, though. I have to admit, I'm a bit surprised. You and Nick _and_ Reagan?”

 

“Yeah...we’re...trying It out.”

 

“Well," he shrugged, "Good luck with that!”

 

“We’re gonna need it.”

 

He laughed. She was so glad it was ending amicably. It could have been so much worse, considering all the money she had cost him. Maybe he would just bill her later. She tried to push that thought away.

 

“I’ll see you around, kid.” He said, then, and drove off.

 

She hadn't said he could keep the glasses, but it was the least she could do for him after, well, everything. And of course, he stole her line. They really were entirely too similar. Now they knew why.

 

Inside, Cece brought her wine and Schmidt brought her paper towels, imploring her not to ruin his nice floors. Nick and Reagan appeared in front of her when the hosts left.

 

“Is there any food left?” She said, feeling desperate. “I'm _so_ hungry and all I have left is this bag of gross raisins.”

 

“Gross raisins? Are you _kidding_ me?” Nick seemed appalled. “Raisins are the best. I love raisins.”

 

Reagan piped up, feeling she needed to weigh in. “Raisins are okay.”

 

And somehow, that was so comforting to Jess. They _weren't_ all the same. And they definitely weren't related.

 

“How did the break up go?” Reagan asked, then, trying to help Jess get clean with the paper towels.

 

“Easier than expected." Jess admitted, waiting just a moment to drop the bomb, "Turns out, we’re cousins.”

 

“ _Cousins?_ ” Nick croaked out.

 

“Third cousins, but cousins.”

 

“Small world.” Reagan chuckled.

 

“You guys, seriously, I need food.”

 

Then, Schmidt returned with more paper towels, making a sort of awkward path for her to make a way towards the food table.

**Author's Note:**

> Fixed some typos. Planning on a third part.........but I can never finish anything in a timely manner. So, we'll see.


End file.
